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Bellingham
Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Where have all the bricks gone? A satire.

Letter to the editor

To Whom it May Concern (to which, I mean all those who have eyes to see and are capable of independent thought):

A troubling occurrence across our campus has come to my attention– as it has no doubt come to yours, my dear reader. A mystery of the greatest import. A shocking series of unexplained events that have arisen under our very feet. 

Upon first taking notice of the disturbing trend less than a week ago, I was perturbed. I admit, in all candidness, I did not realize the degree of the calamity before this and it’s doubtless I walked idly by, ignorant to the threat far longer than I care to admit. Since that time, I have been haunted day and night by this menace that lies, unnoticed by the technophile masses of my fellow students. Consumed in their own little worlds, leaving them exposed and defenseless. 

And so, I have decided that I must act. My conscience cannot bear the consequences that I fear silence would bring upon my fellow students. 

The question that started all of this. The evidence that supports my deepest fears. Surely, I am not the only one? You cannot all have missed the signs? I dare even to type the next line … but I must.

“Where have all the bricks gone?”

Beware. Ignorance is not bliss. I have not at this time ascertained the entirety of the malevolent schemes of the masonry, but without a doubt there is something afoot. Bricks have gone missing across the entire campus. In some places, in ones or twos, while in other locations, as many as fours or fives. For a day and a night, they might disappear, only to reappear in situ, as if nothing had occurred. 

Wait, there’s more. As one passes over the bricks, resting one’s foot upon them, sometimes they will tilt and tremble with all manner of clanks and clunks, as if they were living things. Perhaps they are, and they are waiting. Waiting to rise up from beneath our heels and seek revenge for the thousands of indignities they have endured. Simple feet being the least of these, high heeled shoes the middle, and skateboards the vilest of them. 

What does this all mean? What can we do while there is still time? I beseech my fellow students to tear their eyes from their phones and yank the headphones from their ears. Be kind to one another, and especially to the bricks below your feet 

Sincerely, 

S. Jester

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